playing the victimWhen holding onto a relationship feels like a matter of life and death, you may find yourself suppressing your anger and negative feelings in order to keep your partner happy. But anger doesn’t leave our bodies as long as it goes unaddressed, no matter how hard you may try to push it away. Instead, withheld anger comes out as passive-aggression.

If you feel a constant need to please your partner when you’re in a relationship, to say yes even when you want to say no, and to take the blame for everything that goes wrong, you have become a chronic victim.

Saying yes when you want to say no may help you temporarily avoid the conflict and confrontations you fear will end your relationship, but it doesn’t help you in the long run.

Instead, faulty thinking – like believing you aren’t allowed to say no – creates negative self-talk, which disempowers you. When you are disempowered, you feel like a victim and this victim mentality creates negative energy in your body, a breeding ground for repressed anger. Negativity makes those around you ­­– like the partner you were trying to please by always saying yes – feel drained of energy. Your partner will distance him or herself from you because victims aren’t fun to be around. In order to free yourself from victimhood, you need to do two things…