Why Boundaries Are Necessary for a Healthy Relationship
“Healthy boundaries” is one of those therapy-tinged phrases that is often used and rarely understood. If you ever find yourself nodding along when a friend [...]
4 Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself and Build Self-Empathy
“You are a failure.” “You look ugly today.” “Everyone’s life is better than yours.” Have you ever said these things to a close friend? How [...]
Repairing Your Relationship With Your Mother
How you related to your mother when you were young has a profound impact on your adult relationships—and your relationship with yourself. Repairing your relationship [...]
Can People Really Change? Epigenetics, Neuroplasticity, and CBT
Many of us learned in high school biology class that genetic traits are passed down to us from our parents. We were taught that we [...]
9 Steps to Heal Childhood Trauma in Adults
Trauma generates emotions, and unless we process these emotions at the time the trauma occurs, the emotions become stuck in our mind and body. Instead [...]
Tether Points: How Emotional Wounds Keep Us Stuck in the Past
Every fight follows the same path, or every friendship ends the same way, or one romantic partner blends into the next because they’re all so [...]
Are Female Friendships the Key to Happiness in Older Women?
You support one another during times of major change like marriage, divorce, and retirement; you comfort one another during times of loss; you help one [...]
3 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us as We Age
Living mindfully means living in a state of awareness. You savor every flavor, admire every sunset, cherish every moment with loved ones—always grounded in the [...]
3 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us as We Age
Living mindfully means living in a state of awareness. You savor every flavor, admire every sunset, cherish every moment with loved ones—always grounded in the [...]
3 Keys to Enhancing Your Love Life After Retirement
Technically, retirement means the end of one’s career. But anyone who’s retired or is close to retiring knows that that’s only the half of it. [...]
Mindful Aging Interview with Andrea – Plenty Magazine
Typically, people approach aging in one of two ways: One, they see getting older as a state of inevitable decline, or, two, they refuse to [...]
Five Ways to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
A psychotherapist on mindful aging and the brain’s life-long plasticity. When it comes to the topic of aging, Dr. Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., MFT has more [...]
It’s a Family Thing: When Passive-Aggressiveness Is Passed On
“I hope I never turn into my mother,” you say. “You sound just like your father,” you’re told. If one or both of your caregivers [...]
How to Live a Regret-Free Life
What is the difference between a mistake and a learning experience? Perspective. When we see mistakes as learning experiences, regret transforms from a painful emotion [...]
9 Health Experts Reveal How They Stick to Their Resolutions
4. Think Beyond Fixing a Problem Set your sights higher than mere solutions to problems, and focus on what you really want, says Andrea Brandt, [...]
7 Steps to Making Love Last in Your Later Years
There are few things more heart-warming than seeing a sweet-looking couple in their 90s holding hands and laughing together in a park, on an airplane, [...]
A Good Apology Is Hard to Find
Apologies have been in the news a lot lately — both genuine apologies and refusals to apologize. Every day, women and men come forward to [...]
How Relationships with Parents and Children Change as We Age
It’s a universal truth that we take things for granted, especially when we’re young. Even though we know that it’s not logical, a part of [...]
Interview: Tips to avoid the onset of Alzheimer’s
According to psychotherapist Dr. Andrea Brandt, our brains remain “plastic” — able to change and make new connections — throughout life. Understanding this feeds into [...]
Dealing with Passive-Aggressives Without Losing Your Mind
Most of us have at least one passive-aggressive person in our life. Maybe it’s a mother who nitpicks and criticizes everything we do, or a [...]
5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back
How often do you feel like you are your own worst enemy? You frequently may find that what stands between you and the life of [...]
3 Secrets – How to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
Through new research and scientific studies, we now know that our brains remain “plastic” — able to change and make new connections — throughout life. [...]
Expert Shares Three Methods for Keeping Your Brain Fit as You Age
It wasn't too long ago that scientists believed our brains stopped developing after the first years of life. After we hit a certain age, they [...]
The Science of Giving Yourself a Pep Talk
When times get tough, some of us rely on our inner voice by default for direction: “You got this, Jennifer!” “I need to get out [...]
Age is just a number, according to Dr. Frieda Birnbaum
Age is just a number – and Dr. Frieda Birnbaum certainly isn’t counting. She had twins at the age of 60. At 65 she reinvented [...]
When Forgiving Yourself Is the Hardest Kind of Forgiveness
So you’ve done something wrong. You’ve hurt someone else or yourself, and now you feel angry, guilty, sad, or ashamed. If someone else had wronged [...]
Being Mindful About Aging
Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, author of Mindful Aging: Embracing Your Life After 50 to Find Fulfillment, Purpose and Joy, invites us to think about growing [...]
How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Us? An Interview With Andrea Brandt
Childhood trauma In what ways do children internalize trauma, versus the way someone who experienced trauma as an adult would? Since children are [...]
Is Realistic Positivity the Key to Happiness as We Age?
Happiness as We Age We all know them: Those authentically positive people who are happy with their lives and themselves and fun to [...]
Tips for Baby Boomers on How to Deal with Loneliness
As we age, the changing physical and mental health and challenging life events like the loss of loved ones and retirement increase the risk for [...]
Para unos años dorados felices y ‘conscientes’
Vacías, ansiosas, temerosas y deprimidas. Así se sienten algunas personas al llegar a los 50 y al pensar que a partir de allí la vida [...]
Are You Happy Yet?
Society often sends the message that old age is just a waiting room for the end—either elderly people are weak, sick, and irrelevant, or that [...]
6 Ways to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
Whether you want to keep working for as many years as possible or make the most of your retirement, you’ll need your brain in top [...]
10 Things Not to Do On a First Date (and Why They Turn Us Off)
10 Things Not to Do On a First Date We go into the first date experience full of fear and excitement. Excited that [...]
5 Things You Can Do Today to Combat Social Anxiety
As kids we’re taught not to talk to strangers, then when we’re adults, we’re supposed to be suddenly good at it. Job interviews, networking events, [...]
How Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
How Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships You may already be familiar with some of the ways childhood emotional trauma can impact us [...]
Mindful Aging: What It Is And Why You Should Be Doing It
Mindfulness has infused itself into just about every nook and cranny of the wellness space. You can eat mindfully, breathe mindfully, and exercise mindfully. But [...]
Creating a Mindset to Have the Best Years Yet
Creating a Mindset Note: In this first of a three-part series adapted from the upcoming book Mindful Aging: Embracing Your Life after 50 [...]
5 Strategies for Accepting Your Mortality
There is a benefit in accepting that someday you, too, will die. Recognizing your mortality can help you take stock of your life and open [...]
Short-term Effects of Stress on Seniors
Short-term Effects of Stress on Seniors As we age, it becomes more challenging to find ways to deal with stress. Facing changes in [...]
4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults
4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults Whether you witnessed or experienced violence as a child or your caretakers emotionally or [...]
Is it Possible to Fine-Tune Your Intuition?
Is it possible to fine-tune your intuition? Absolutely. Have you ever been on a date and thought "I have a funny feeling about [...]
5 Things You Need to Know About Anxiety
Here are 5 things you need to know about anxiety. "I'm so stressed out right now." We hear this often and may say [...]
How to Stop Passive Aggression from Ruining Your Relationship
ruining your relationship Learning to express anger in a healthy way will help couples resolve conflicts, instead of letting them simmer. Every Saturday [...]
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50 Whether you've been with the same person for 30 years or you're finding new love [...]
How Self Love Saves Lives
When you love yourself, you don't rely on others for your self-esteem or self-image. When you love yourself, you feel comfortable in your skin and [...]
4 Keys to Increase Your Happiness As You Get Older
Through your youth and early adulthood, you accumulate many varied experiences, both good and bad. You make false starts, turn corners, try new things, meet [...]
6 Steps to a Positive Outlook on Life
Positive Outlook Whether it's January 1 or June 30, every day is one in which you can make a resolution to improve your [...]
Don’t Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them
Don't Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them It's that time of year again. The displays of small potted Christmas Trees and poinsettia greet [...]
Harmful Behavior Inventory
I read once about a sign Oprah Winfrey posts in her office: "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space." I think [...]
Is Your Anger a Cover for Shame?
If you have a quick temper, if you shout, if you slam doors, your problem may not actually be your anger. The real emotion that [...]
When Passive Aggression Is the Third Party in Your Relationship
When your partner is passive-aggressive, it can feel like passive-aggression is the third party in your relationship. Passive-aggressiveness not only hurts your bond with your [...]
7 Steps to Resolving Conflicts With Your Passive-Aggressive Partner
Most people are afraid of conflict in their relationships. No one really enjoys getting into arguments with their partner, right? But to some, conflict is [...]
What Do We Mean When We Say “Self-Love?”
Therapists like myself spend a lot of time talking about self-love. But if you’re like many of my patients, you might not know what self-love [...]
Got Marriage Problems? Blame Hollywood
Growing up most of us had two models for what adult romantic relationships should look like. One, we had our parents or caregivers––which for many [...]
Can You Hear Me Now: When to stop fixing and just listen
When a client comes to you in emotional distress and you sense that childhood wounds are the cause, your instinct is to spring into action. [...]
Is Emotional Discomfort Good for You?
Anger doesn't feel good. It makes our hearts race and our palms sweat. It makes us feel anxious and scared. We grew up in a [...]
How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible?
Someone hurts us in a way that feels irreparable and we say, "I will never forgive you." Someone wounds us emotionally or physically and we [...]
Why You Should Never Vote Angry
You're probably familiar with the adage, "The secret to a happy marriage is to never go to bed angry." I've been thinking about this a [...]
Untangling Anger
Anger is a messy, complicated emotion. The person or situation that angers you and the thing that sets off your angry reaction can be completely [...]
Mindful Anger: The Art of Transforming a Difficult Emotion into a Therapeutic Tool
HELLO! My name is Andrea Brandt and I am a marriage and family therapist located in Santa Monica, California, and the author of the book “Mindful [...]
6 Steps to Bring Out the Best in Each Other
It is often said that in the best relationships, partners bring out the best in each other. Sometimes in the midst of the stresses and [...]
The Revenge Myth
Revenge is appealing. Someone hurts us and we're convinced that revenge will make us feel whole again. Just thinking about revenge can trigger positive emotions [...]
4 Tips to Help You Survive the Holidays
Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's, many of us spend more time with our families in the final five weeks of the year than [...]
6 Signs Your Date is Secretly Passive-Aggressive
Secretly Passive-Aggressive A relationship with a passive-aggressive person is exhausting. You’re never sure if “I’m not mad” really means “I’m mad,” or if [...]
What to Do When Your Emotions Overwhelm You
Trying to control your emotions doesn't work because it can't work. When you go out in the world and interact with people, turn on the [...]
The Five Fighting Words you Need to Drop from your Relationship
I believe that arguing is part of every healthy relationship. You and your partner won't agree one-hundred-percent of the time and sometimes one or both [...]
3 Ways to Stop Having the Same Fight Over & Over
Can't figure out why you keep having the same arguments? Read on ... September will always be back-to-school season in my mind––the sadness of summer [...]
3 Steps to Keeping Your Cool (and Saving Your Relationships)
Your good friend says something hurtful; your partner seems remote and uninvolved; your coworker makes a new demand when you're already overwhelmed. Stress hormones flood [...]
The Anger Technique That’s Better Than Anger Management
Count to 10. Pound a pillow. Go in your car and scream. These are popular anger management techniques that you've probably heard over and over [...]
Emotional Honesty: How to Tell if It’s Missing from Your Relationship
Few of us grew up in an emotionally safe environment, a place where we could be truthful about our feelings. Instead, we inherited faulty beliefs [...]
How Your Beliefs About Yourself Limit Your Potential
Right now, you are talking to yourself. All day, every day, you talk to yourself about the world around you––narrating, interpreting, judging. More importantly, you [...]
3 Signs You Have an Unhealthy Attachment to Your Partner
You enjoy your partner's company, share his concerns, and feel connected to her even when you're separate. These are signs you are attached to your [...]
Love and the Passive-Aggressive Personality
How you and your partner handle anger and conflict plays a key role in the success of your relationship—a rewarding connection is incompatible with suppressed feelings [...]
Unlocking the Benefits of Anger
If you frequently find yourself acting out — drinking heavily, starting fights, having affairs, shaming or stonewalling others — or if your body feels perpetually [...]
You May Be Playing the Victim and Not Even Know It
When holding onto a relationship feels like a matter of life and death, you may find yourself suppressing your anger and negative feelings in order [...]
Combat Your Passive-Aggressive Behavior with Mindfulness
Every emotion you feel is a message. Emotions tell you how your environment is affecting you, when your boundaries have been violated, and when your [...]
How Your Fear May Be Limiting You
Many of the beliefs that have the greatest impact on our lives exist on a level outside of our awareness. They were developed during childhood, [...]
How I Conquered My Fears and Took Risks After 50
Andrea writes an article for Zest.com. View entire article here. "I grew up in a family that didn’t know how to deal with anger. The [...]
The 7 Principles of Assertive Communication
After a harsh winter, we're grateful to pack away our coats and gloves and do a little spring-cleaning. While you're sweeping and tidying your home, [...]
What Kind of Angry Are You?
If you were asked to draw a picture of an angry person, what would you draw? Your figure would probably have clenched fists, a red [...]
A Priceless Valentine’s Day Gift Idea: Letter of Gratitude
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." –Thornton Wilder After the box of [...]
10 Resolutions to Help You Become More Mindful
It’s always a good time to resolve to make personal improvements that include new attitudes, changed behaviors and improved routines. In looking back at my [...]
How to Create Healthier Anger in Your Children
Anger often makes us uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable to witness and uncomfortable to feel. Witnessing your child's anger can be especially uncomfortable. In order to relieve [...]
6 Ways to Meet Your Partner’s Needs
Have you ever struggled maintaining a good relationship with your partner? And to meet your partner's needs? I know I have, I somehow always seem [...]
The 10 Secret Steps to a Happier Family This Holiday Season
The holiday season and dysfunctional family dynamics go together like turkey and cranberry sauce or a stocking full of presents and an empty wallet. You [...]
Why You May Be Passive-Aggressive, and Not Even Realize It
We tend to overuse the term passive aggressive. "Oh, he is so passive aggressive!" we'll say about someone who annoys us. Real passive aggressive behavior [...]
Is Your Reaction to Conflict Destroying Your Relationship?
Ask yourself, when in conflict: Does your pulse race and your heart pound? Do you talk over the other person? Do you turn trivial things [...]
How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible?
How do you forgive someone who has wronged you, and why should you do it at all. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the other [...]
Manage Your Anger at Work (And Everywhere Else!)
While I was working part-time, I helped Finds’ friend, Dr. Andrea Brandt, develop a workshop for employee wellness programs called, Mindful Anger: Keys to Emotional [...]
7 Tips to Become the Person You Want to Be
You have the power to become the person you want to be. Many of us don't like who we are. We feel weak or [...]
Don’t Let Anger Wreck Your Career
From insecurity and helplessness to procrastination and wanting to give up, anger can make your work-life a struggle. This may come as a surprise, but anger can [...]
7 Things You Need to Learn About Your Temper
"Stop crying this instant!" "Don't take that attitude with me!" You might not hear these commands anymore, but the things your parents and caregivers told you [...]
How To Make Fights Work FOR Your Relationship (Not Against It)
Unhealthy responses to anger can form an infinite loop: small disagreements erupt into full-blown fights and fights end with slammed doors and hurt feelings. This may [...]
5 Tips for Communicating Assertively without Being Passive-Aggressive By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
All of us are passive-aggressive. That is, we use a mild form of passive-aggressiveness: “saying yes when we mean no,” according to psychotherapist Andrea Brandt, [...]
Do You Know Why You’re Angry?
Children are like little mapmakers. They create meaning out of the events they witness (whether good or bad), and place them on their internal map [...]
Hard for You to say “I’m Sorry?”
Finds’ friend, Andrea Brandt, PhD. recently started blogging for Psychology Today. I love her first post on how it can be Hard for You to [...]
The Five Steps to Mindfully Releasing Anger
Past anger—whether a grudge, resentment, pent-up rage, or a slight committed by someone you were close to years ago and never forgave—is like a millstone [...]
Listening to the Language of our Body
*The following is a guest post from Psych Central's Margarita Tartakovsky, MS A pivotal part of building a more positive body image and practicing compassionate [...]
The Art of Apology
When someone’s actions cause us emotional pain or disappointment, why do we feel the need to receive an apology? The Art of the Apology! When [...]