4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults
4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults Whether you witnessed or experienced violence as a child or your caretakers emotionally or [...]
Is it Possible to Fine-Tune Your Intuition?
Is it possible to fine-tune your intuition? Absolutely. Have you ever been on a date and thought "I have a funny feeling about [...]
5 Things You Need to Know About Anxiety
Here are 5 things you need to know about anxiety. "I'm so stressed out right now." We hear this often and may say [...]
How to Stop Passive Aggression from Ruining Your Relationship
ruining your relationship Learning to express anger in a healthy way will help couples resolve conflicts, instead of letting them simmer. Every Saturday [...]
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50 Whether you've been with the same person for 30 years or you're finding new love [...]
How Self Love Saves Lives
When you love yourself, you don't rely on others for your self-esteem or self-image. When you love yourself, you feel comfortable in your skin and [...]
4 Keys to Increase Your Happiness As You Get Older
Through your youth and early adulthood, you accumulate many varied experiences, both good and bad. You make false starts, turn corners, try new things, meet [...]
6 Steps to a Positive Outlook on Life
Positive Outlook Whether it's January 1 or June 30, every day is one in which you can make a resolution to improve your [...]
Don’t Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them
Don't Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them It's that time of year again. The displays of small potted Christmas Trees and poinsettia greet [...]
Harmful Behavior Inventory
I read once about a sign Oprah Winfrey posts in her office: "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space." I think [...]
Is Your Anger a Cover for Shame?
If you have a quick temper, if you shout, if you slam doors, your problem may not actually be your anger. The real emotion that [...]
When Passive Aggression Is the Third Party in Your Relationship
When your partner is passive-aggressive, it can feel like passive-aggression is the third party in your relationship. Passive-aggressiveness not only hurts your bond with your [...]
7 Steps to Resolving Conflicts With Your Passive-Aggressive Partner
Most people are afraid of conflict in their relationships. No one really enjoys getting into arguments with their partner, right? But to some, conflict is [...]
What Do We Mean When We Say “Self-Love?”
Therapists like myself spend a lot of time talking about self-love. But if you’re like many of my patients, you might not know what self-love [...]
Got Marriage Problems? Blame Hollywood
Growing up most of us had two models for what adult romantic relationships should look like. One, we had our parents or caregivers––which for many [...]
Can You Hear Me Now: When to stop fixing and just listen
When a client comes to you in emotional distress and you sense that childhood wounds are the cause, your instinct is to spring into action. [...]
Is Emotional Discomfort Good for You?
Anger doesn't feel good. It makes our hearts race and our palms sweat. It makes us feel anxious and scared. We grew up in a [...]
How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible?
Someone hurts us in a way that feels irreparable and we say, "I will never forgive you." Someone wounds us emotionally or physically and we [...]
Why You Should Never Vote Angry
You're probably familiar with the adage, "The secret to a happy marriage is to never go to bed angry." I've been thinking about this a [...]
Untangling Anger
Anger is a messy, complicated emotion. The person or situation that angers you and the thing that sets off your angry reaction can be completely [...]
Mindful Anger: The Art of Transforming a Difficult Emotion into a Therapeutic Tool
HELLO! My name is Andrea Brandt and I am a marriage and family therapist located in Santa Monica, California, and the author of the book “Mindful [...]
6 Steps to Bring Out the Best in Each Other
It is often said that in the best relationships, partners bring out the best in each other. Sometimes in the midst of the stresses and [...]
The Revenge Myth
Revenge is appealing. Someone hurts us and we're convinced that revenge will make us feel whole again. Just thinking about revenge can trigger positive emotions [...]
4 Tips to Help You Survive the Holidays
Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's, many of us spend more time with our families in the final five weeks of the year than [...]
What to Do When Your Emotions Overwhelm You
Trying to control your emotions doesn't work because it can't work. When you go out in the world and interact with people, turn on the [...]
The Five Fighting Words you Need to Drop from your Relationship
I believe that arguing is part of every healthy relationship. You and your partner won't agree one-hundred-percent of the time and sometimes one or both [...]
3 Ways to Stop Having the Same Fight Over & Over
Can't figure out why you keep having the same arguments? Read on ... September will always be back-to-school season in my mind––the sadness of summer [...]
3 Steps to Keeping Your Cool (and Saving Your Relationships)
Your good friend says something hurtful; your partner seems remote and uninvolved; your coworker makes a new demand when you're already overwhelmed. Stress hormones flood [...]
The Anger Technique That’s Better Than Anger Management
Count to 10. Pound a pillow. Go in your car and scream. These are popular anger management techniques that you've probably heard over and over [...]
Emotional Honesty: How to Tell if It’s Missing from Your Relationship
Few of us grew up in an emotionally safe environment, a place where we could be truthful about our feelings. Instead, we inherited faulty beliefs [...]
How Your Beliefs About Yourself Limit Your Potential
Right now, you are talking to yourself. All day, every day, you talk to yourself about the world around you––narrating, interpreting, judging. More importantly, you [...]
3 Signs You Have an Unhealthy Attachment to Your Partner
You enjoy your partner's company, share his concerns, and feel connected to her even when you're separate. These are signs you are attached to your [...]
Love and the Passive-Aggressive Personality
How you and your partner handle anger and conflict plays a key role in the success of your relationship—a rewarding connection is incompatible with suppressed feelings [...]
Unlocking the Benefits of Anger
If you frequently find yourself acting out — drinking heavily, starting fights, having affairs, shaming or stonewalling others — or if your body feels perpetually [...]
You May Be Playing the Victim and Not Even Know It
When holding onto a relationship feels like a matter of life and death, you may find yourself suppressing your anger and negative feelings in order [...]
How Your Fear May Be Limiting You
Many of the beliefs that have the greatest impact on our lives exist on a level outside of our awareness. They were developed during childhood, [...]
How I Conquered My Fears and Took Risks After 50
Andrea writes an article for Zest.com. View entire article here. "I grew up in a family that didn’t know how to deal with anger. The [...]
The 7 Principles of Assertive Communication
After a harsh winter, we're grateful to pack away our coats and gloves and do a little spring-cleaning. While you're sweeping and tidying your home, [...]
What Kind of Angry Are You?
If you were asked to draw a picture of an angry person, what would you draw? Your figure would probably have clenched fists, a red [...]
A Priceless Valentine’s Day Gift Idea: Letter of Gratitude
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." –Thornton Wilder After the box of [...]
Why Are Boundaries Necessary for Relationships?
You've probably heard the term "healthy boundaries" before. It's a concept that pops up frequently when people talk about successful relationships. If you often find [...]
10 Resolutions to Help You Become More Mindful
It’s always a good time to resolve to make personal improvements that include new attitudes, changed behaviors and improved routines. In looking back at my [...]
How to Create Healthier Anger in Your Children
Anger often makes us uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable to witness and uncomfortable to feel. Witnessing your child's anger can be especially uncomfortable. In order to relieve [...]
6 Ways to Meet Your Partner’s Needs
Have you ever struggled maintaining a good relationship with your partner? And to meet your partner's needs? I know I have, I somehow always seem [...]
The 10 Secret Steps to a Happier Family This Holiday Season
The holiday season and dysfunctional family dynamics go together like turkey and cranberry sauce or a stocking full of presents and an empty wallet. You [...]
Why You May Be Passive-Aggressive, and Not Even Realize It
We tend to overuse the term passive aggressive. "Oh, he is so passive aggressive!" we'll say about someone who annoys us. Real passive aggressive behavior [...]
Is Your Reaction to Conflict Destroying Your Relationship?
Ask yourself, when in conflict: Does your pulse race and your heart pound? Do you talk over the other person? Do you turn trivial things [...]
How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible?
How do you forgive someone who has wronged you, and why should you do it at all. Forgiveness isn't something you do for the other [...]
Manage Your Anger at Work (And Everywhere Else!)
While I was working part-time, I helped Finds’ friend, Dr. Andrea Brandt, develop a workshop for employee wellness programs called, Mindful Anger: Keys to Emotional [...]
7 Tips to Become the Person You Want to Be
You have the power to become the person you want to be. Many of us don't like who we are. We feel weak or [...]
Don’t Let Anger Wreck Your Career
From insecurity and helplessness to procrastination and wanting to give up, anger can make your work-life a struggle. This may come as a surprise, but anger can [...]
7 Things You Need to Learn About Your Temper
"Stop crying this instant!" "Don't take that attitude with me!" You might not hear these commands anymore, but the things your parents and caregivers told you [...]
How To Make Fights Work FOR Your Relationship (Not Against It)
Unhealthy responses to anger can form an infinite loop: small disagreements erupt into full-blown fights and fights end with slammed doors and hurt feelings. This may [...]
5 Tips for Communicating Assertively without Being Passive-Aggressive By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
All of us are passive-aggressive. That is, we use a mild form of passive-aggressiveness: “saying yes when we mean no,” according to psychotherapist Andrea Brandt, [...]
Do You Know Why You’re Angry?
Children are like little mapmakers. They create meaning out of the events they witness (whether good or bad), and place them on their internal map [...]
Hard for You to say “I’m Sorry?”
Finds’ friend, Andrea Brandt, PhD. recently started blogging for Psychology Today. I love her first post on how it can be Hard for You to [...]
The Five Steps to Mindfully Releasing Anger
Past anger—whether a grudge, resentment, pent-up rage, or a slight committed by someone you were close to years ago and never forgave—is like a millstone [...]
Listening to the Language of our Body
*The following is a guest post from Psych Central's Margarita Tartakovsky, MS A pivotal part of building a more positive body image and practicing compassionate [...]
The Art of Apology
When someone’s actions cause us emotional pain or disappointment, why do we feel the need to receive an apology? The Art of the Apology! When [...]
Stepfamilies Are Fertile Ground for Passive Aggressiveness
How to deal with passive aggressive family members. Guest post by The Evil Stepmother Speaks' Barb Goldberg. Passive aggressiveness runs rampant in our stepfamilies. I [...]
The Procrastination Dilemma
Everyone procrastinates sometimes, but 20 percent of people chronically avoid difficult tasks and deliberately look for distractions — which, unfortunately, are increasingly available. Many people [...]
Are Platonic Friendships Ruining Your Marriage?
happy couple outdoor They enrich our lives and make partners jealous. How to navigate the murky waters. By Linda Bernstein From my [...]
Dr. Andrea Brandt’s Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions
It's that time of year again -- a time to resolve to make personal improvements that include new behaviors and routines. I would like to [...]
Five Strategies for Handling Holiday Stress
Dr. Andrea Brandt's Five "P.E.A.C.E" Strategies for Handling Holiday Stress in the Workplace. The holiday season is upon us! Often times, the hustle and bustle [...]
Coping With Holiday Depression
How to deal with feelings of stress and sadness around the holidays. For many people, the holidays can be a time of joy and nostalgia [...]