Three Lessons on Loss and Grief
For days, weeks, or even months after losing someone, you may wake up in the morning with an overwhelming sadness. It can feel like a [...]
Healing Shame: 5 Steps to Self-Forgiveness
We feel guilty when we believe we have done something wrong, but we feel shame when we believe that we are wrong. In other words, guilt is [...]
Healing Guilt: 7 Steps to Self-Forgiveness
Your ability to forgive yourself and practice self-compassion is a vital element of self-esteem. When you carry feelings of guilt and shame, it’s impossible to [...]
4 Fun Ways to Combat Anxiety During a Pandemic
Much of the advice therapists usually offer to people suffering from anxiety doesn't work anymore. In normal times, I would tell you to go to [...]
The Healing Power of Gratitude
Asking “what are you thankful for?” during a global pandemic might seem absurd. Every day the news gets grimmer. We hear sirens outside our windows. [...]
The Secret to a Happy Relationship Is Empathy
Everyone has met a couple like this: She loves sushi; the smell of raw fish makes him nauseous. He loves horror films; she finds even [...]
11 Signs You Use Passive-Aggressiveness in Your Relationships
How do you know if you use passive-aggressiveness in your relationship to express your hidden anger? When you’ve hidden your anger from everyone, including yourself, [...]
Childhood Emotional Neglect: What It Is and How to Heal
Physical abuse can leave physical scars, while emotional abuse leaves psychic ones, but what about emotional neglect? The absence of emotional support in childhood can [...]
How to Set Boundaries in the Age of Oversharing
Scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed and you’ll see photos of friends’ children, weddings, and perfectly lit meals. You’ll see updates about careers and [...]
Unexpected Sources That Could Be Triggering Your Anxiety
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are most common among Americans with mental illness. Anxiety affects just over 18% of [...]
To Heal from Trauma, You Have to Feel Your Feelings
At any age, in any life stage, you can change. Whether you’re 77 years old or 17, you can learn, grow, adopt new habits, and [...]
When the first grandchild arrives, a happy family needs healthy boundaries
Who knew you would ever be as old as your grandparents seemed to you! But now it’s happened. You’re going to be a grandma or [...]
Why You Should Consider Yoga and Meditation
Yoga and meditation are more than just a way to calm down and stay flexible. Both practices have powerful and long-term benefits for both the [...]
Improve Your Mood Now
Some things you do to improve your mental health take time, planning, and often money. There are 12-step plans and 3-month goals, therapy bills, and [...]
4 Secrets to Finding Purpose and Community After Retirement
No matter how much you look forward to retirement, you may wake up the morning after your last day at work and feel sadness or [...]
3 Steps to Treat Your Anxiety Using CBT
If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety, the process of finding a therapist can feel overwhelming. Since therapists often specialize in treatment methods, finding the right [...]
Understanding the Difference Between Feeling Blue and Depression by Melissa Howard
Life is hard at times, and we all know that. But how do we know when it’s “too hard” and we need help? The signs [...]
Is Our Culture to Blame for Our Unhealthy Anger?
We tend to think of emotional reactions as universal. The way I react to an event is the same way everyone does, we tell ourselves. [...]
The Dangers of Perfectionism
Do you often feel like you need things to be perfect to be satisfied? Is accepting flaws or failures in yourself or others impossible? Do [...]
6 Signs It’s Time to Seek Help for Your Anxiety
Like all emotions, anxiety is healthy, and we’re all prone to feeling it sometimes. Anxiety can become a debilitating problem, though, when the stress you [...]
To Manage Your Anger, Give It a Name
Giving your partner the silent treatment, breaking a water glass in the middle of a fight, responding to criticism with the meanest thing you can [...]
How to Keep a New Year’s Resolution
There are many reasons why it’s hard to keep a New Year’s resolution, and why over 50 percent of them fail. Many of us make [...]
How to Stop Feeling Shame
Shame is one of the hardest emotions to talk about. It can also be the hardest emotion to recognize in ourselves, and it can feel [...]
Silence Negative Self-Talk In Just 5 Minutes a Day
Your pattern and style of self-talk most likely originate from the way your parents or caregivers spoke to and treated you. If your mother was [...]
How Reactive Behavior Damages Your Relationships
When you’re reactive, your feelings depend on external events outside your influence or control. Whether you have a good or bad day depends entirely on [...]
Learn Empathy in Just 5 Steps
Your relationship with others determines much of your happiness and success in life. How you get along with coworkers, bosses, family, friends, and romantic partners [...]
Coping with Loss as We Age
One inevitable feature of life is coping with life as we age. Some losses are minor; some are massive. We lose physical characteristics, abilities, and [...]
Science Proves That Gratitude Is Key to Well-Being
“Building the best life does not require fealty to feelings in the name of authenticity, but rather rebelling against negative impulses and acting right even [...]
Why Boundaries Are Necessary for a Healthy Relationship
“Healthy boundaries” is one of those therapy-tinged phrases that is often used and rarely understood. If you ever find yourself nodding along when a friend [...]
How to Age Fearlessly
Emotions like fear are part of our human survival wiring. They compel us to act. When something scares us, we switch into autopilot safety/survival mode. [...]
Learning to Identify When It’s Anxiety, and When It’s Not
Anxiety is a tricky emotion. What might at first feel like anxiousness can, on more in-depth exploration, turn out to be a different emotion entirely. [...]
4 Ways to Be Kinder to Yourself and Build Self-Empathy
“You are a failure.” “You look ugly today.” “Everyone’s life is better than yours.” Have you ever said these things to a close friend? How [...]
Repairing Your Relationship With Your Mother
How you related to your mother when you were young has a profound impact on your adult relationships—and your relationship with yourself. Repairing your relationship [...]
Can People Really Change? Epigenetics, Neuroplasticity, and CBT
Many of us learned in high school biology class that genetic traits are passed down to us from our parents. We were taught that we [...]
9 Steps to Heal Childhood Trauma in Adults
Trauma generates emotions, and unless we process these emotions at the time the trauma occurs, the emotions become stuck in our mind and body. Instead [...]
Tether Points: How Emotional Wounds Keep Us Stuck in the Past
Every fight follows the same path, or every friendship ends the same way, or one romantic partner blends into the next because they’re all so [...]
Are Female Friendships the Key to Happiness in Older Women?
You support one another during times of major change like marriage, divorce, and retirement; you comfort one another during times of loss; you help one [...]
3 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us as We Age
Living mindfully means living in a state of awareness. You savor every flavor, admire every sunset, cherish every moment with loved ones—always grounded in the [...]
3 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us as We Age
Living mindfully means living in a state of awareness. You savor every flavor, admire every sunset, cherish every moment with loved ones—always grounded in the [...]
3 Keys to Enhancing Your Love Life After Retirement
Technically, retirement means the end of one’s career. But anyone who’s retired or is close to retiring knows that that’s only the half of it. [...]
Mindful Aging Interview with Andrea – Plenty Magazine
Typically, people approach aging in one of two ways: One, they see getting older as a state of inevitable decline, or, two, they refuse to [...]
Five Ways to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
A psychotherapist on mindful aging and the brain’s life-long plasticity. When it comes to the topic of aging, Dr. Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., MFT has more [...]
It’s a Family Thing: When Passive-Aggressiveness Is Passed On
“I hope I never turn into my mother,” you say. “You sound just like your father,” you’re told. If one or both of your caregivers [...]
How to Live a Regret-Free Life
What is the difference between a mistake and a learning experience? Perspective. When we see mistakes as learning experiences, regret transforms from a painful emotion [...]
9 Health Experts Reveal How They Stick to Their Resolutions
4. Think Beyond Fixing a Problem Set your sights higher than mere solutions to problems, and focus on what you really want, says Andrea Brandt, [...]
7 Steps to Making Love Last in Your Later Years
There are few things more heart-warming than seeing a sweet-looking couple in their 90s holding hands and laughing together in a park, on an airplane, [...]
A Good Apology Is Hard to Find
Apologies have been in the news a lot lately — both genuine apologies and refusals to apologize. Every day, women and men come forward to [...]
How Relationships with Parents and Children Change as We Age
It’s a universal truth that we take things for granted, especially when we’re young. Even though we know that it’s not logical, a part of [...]
Interview: Tips to avoid the onset of Alzheimer’s
According to psychotherapist Dr. Andrea Brandt, our brains remain “plastic” — able to change and make new connections — throughout life. Understanding this feeds into [...]
Dealing with Passive-Aggressives Without Losing Your Mind
Most of us have at least one passive-aggressive person in our life. Maybe it’s a mother who nitpicks and criticizes everything we do, or a [...]
5 Strategies to Get Over the Fears Holding You Back
How often do you feel like you are your own worst enemy? You frequently may find that what stands between you and the life of [...]
3 Secrets – How to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
Through new research and scientific studies, we now know that our brains remain “plastic” — able to change and make new connections — throughout life. [...]
Expert Shares Three Methods for Keeping Your Brain Fit as You Age
It wasn't too long ago that scientists believed our brains stopped developing after the first years of life. After we hit a certain age, they [...]
The Science of Giving Yourself a Pep Talk
When times get tough, some of us rely on our inner voice by default for direction: “You got this, Jennifer!” “I need to get out [...]
Age is just a number, according to Dr. Frieda Birnbaum
Age is just a number – and Dr. Frieda Birnbaum certainly isn’t counting. She had twins at the age of 60. At 65 she reinvented [...]
When Forgiving Yourself Is the Hardest Kind of Forgiveness
So you’ve done something wrong. You’ve hurt someone else or yourself, and now you feel angry, guilty, sad, or ashamed. If someone else had wronged [...]
Being Mindful About Aging
Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, author of Mindful Aging: Embracing Your Life After 50 to Find Fulfillment, Purpose and Joy, invites us to think about growing [...]
How Does Childhood Trauma Affect Us? An Interview With Andrea Brandt
Childhood trauma In what ways do children internalize trauma, versus the way someone who experienced trauma as an adult would? Since children are [...]
Is Realistic Positivity the Key to Happiness as We Age?
Happiness as We Age We all know them: Those authentically positive people who are happy with their lives and themselves and fun to [...]
Tips for Baby Boomers on How to Deal with Loneliness
As we age, the changing physical and mental health and challenging life events like the loss of loved ones and retirement increase the risk for [...]
Para unos años dorados felices y ‘conscientes’
Vacías, ansiosas, temerosas y deprimidas. Así se sienten algunas personas al llegar a los 50 y al pensar que a partir de allí la vida [...]
Are You Happy Yet?
Society often sends the message that old age is just a waiting room for the end—either elderly people are weak, sick, and irrelevant, or that [...]
6 Ways to Keep Your Brain Fit as You Age
Whether you want to keep working for as many years as possible or make the most of your retirement, you’ll need your brain in top [...]
10 Things Not to Do On a First Date (and Why They Turn Us Off)
10 Things Not to Do On a First Date We go into the first date experience full of fear and excitement. Excited that [...]
5 Things You Can Do Today to Combat Social Anxiety
As kids we’re taught not to talk to strangers, then when we’re adults, we’re supposed to be suddenly good at it. Job interviews, networking events, [...]
How Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
How Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships You may already be familiar with some of the ways childhood emotional trauma can impact us [...]
Mindful Aging: What It Is And Why You Should Be Doing It
Mindfulness has infused itself into just about every nook and cranny of the wellness space. You can eat mindfully, breathe mindfully, and exercise mindfully. But [...]
Creating a Mindset to Have the Best Years Yet
Creating a Mindset Note: In this first of a three-part series adapted from the upcoming book Mindful Aging: Embracing Your Life after 50 [...]
5 Strategies for Accepting Your Mortality
There is a benefit in accepting that someday you, too, will die. Recognizing your mortality can help you take stock of your life and open [...]
Short-term Effects of Stress on Seniors
Short-term Effects of Stress on Seniors As we age, it becomes more challenging to find ways to deal with stress. Facing changes in [...]
4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults
4 Ways Childhood Emotional Trauma Impacts Us as Adults Whether you witnessed or experienced violence as a child or your caretakers emotionally or [...]
Is it Possible to Fine-Tune Your Intuition?
Is it possible to fine-tune your intuition? Absolutely. Have you ever been on a date and thought "I have a funny feeling about [...]
5 Things You Need to Know About Anxiety
Here are 5 things you need to know about anxiety. "I'm so stressed out right now." We hear this often and may say [...]
How to Stop Passive Aggression from Ruining Your Relationship
ruining your relationship Learning to express anger in a healthy way will help couples resolve conflicts, instead of letting them simmer. Every Saturday [...]
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50
7 Secrets to a Successful Relationship After 50 Whether you've been with the same person for 30 years or you're finding new love [...]
How Self Love Saves Lives
When you love yourself, you don't rely on others for your self-esteem or self-image. When you love yourself, you feel comfortable in your skin and [...]
4 Keys to Increase Your Happiness As You Get Older
Through your youth and early adulthood, you accumulate many varied experiences, both good and bad. You make false starts, turn corners, try new things, meet [...]
6 Steps to a Positive Outlook on Life
Positive Outlook Whether it's January 1 or June 30, every day is one in which you can make a resolution to improve your [...]
Don’t Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them
Don't Just Survive the Holidays, Enjoy Them It's that time of year again. The displays of small potted Christmas Trees and poinsettia greet [...]
Harmful Behavior Inventory
I read once about a sign Oprah Winfrey posts in her office: "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space." I think [...]
Is Your Anger a Cover for Shame?
If you have a quick temper, if you shout, if you slam doors, your problem may not actually be your anger. The real emotion that [...]
When Passive Aggression Is the Third Party in Your Relationship
When your partner is passive-aggressive, it can feel like passive-aggression is the third party in your relationship. Passive-aggressiveness not only hurts your bond with your [...]
7 Steps to Resolving Conflicts With Your Passive-Aggressive Partner
Most people are afraid of conflict in their relationships. No one really enjoys getting into arguments with their partner, right? But to some, conflict is [...]
What Do We Mean When We Say “Self-Love?”
Therapists like myself spend a lot of time talking about self-love. But if you’re like many of my patients, you might not know what self-love [...]
Got Marriage Problems? Blame Hollywood
Growing up most of us had two models for what adult romantic relationships should look like. One, we had our parents or caregivers––which for many [...]
Can You Hear Me Now: When to stop fixing and just listen
When a client comes to you in emotional distress and you sense that childhood wounds are the cause, your instinct is to spring into action. [...]
Is Emotional Discomfort Good for You?
Anger doesn't feel good. It makes our hearts race and our palms sweat. It makes us feel anxious and scared. We grew up in a [...]
How Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible?
Someone hurts us in a way that feels irreparable and we say, "I will never forgive you." Someone wounds us emotionally or physically and we [...]
Why You Should Never Vote Angry
You're probably familiar with the adage, "The secret to a happy marriage is to never go to bed angry." I've been thinking about this a [...]
Untangling Anger
Anger is a messy, complicated emotion. The person or situation that angers you and the thing that sets off your angry reaction can be completely [...]
Mindful Anger: The Art of Transforming a Difficult Emotion into a Therapeutic Tool
HELLO! My name is Andrea Brandt and I am a marriage and family therapist located in Santa Monica, California, and the author of the book “Mindful [...]
6 Steps to Bring Out the Best in Each Other
It is often said that in the best relationships, partners bring out the best in each other. Sometimes in the midst of the stresses and [...]
The Revenge Myth
Revenge is appealing. Someone hurts us and we're convinced that revenge will make us feel whole again. Just thinking about revenge can trigger positive emotions [...]
4 Tips to Help You Survive the Holidays
Between Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's, many of us spend more time with our families in the final five weeks of the year than [...]
6 Signs Your Date is Secretly Passive-Aggressive
Secretly Passive-Aggressive A relationship with a passive-aggressive person is exhausting. You’re never sure if “I’m not mad” really means “I’m mad,” or if [...]
What to Do When Your Emotions Overwhelm You
Trying to control your emotions doesn't work because it can't work. When you go out in the world and interact with people, turn on the [...]
The Five Fighting Words you Need to Drop from your Relationship
I believe that arguing is part of every healthy relationship. You and your partner won't agree one-hundred-percent of the time and sometimes one or both [...]
3 Ways to Stop Having the Same Fight Over & Over
Can't figure out why you keep having the same arguments? Read on ... September will always be back-to-school season in my mind––the sadness of summer [...]
3 Steps to Keeping Your Cool (and Saving Your Relationships)
Your good friend says something hurtful; your partner seems remote and uninvolved; your coworker makes a new demand when you're already overwhelmed. Stress hormones flood [...]
The Anger Technique That’s Better Than Anger Management
Count to 10. Pound a pillow. Go in your car and scream. These are popular anger management techniques that you've probably heard over and over [...]