Couples Counseling in Santa Monica, CA
Every healthy relationship has conflict
I see conflict as an opportunity
Despite what you’ve probably heard all your life, conflict is good. Every healthy relationship has conflict because the very nature of relationships breed conflict; no two people agree on everything all the time. It’s the avoidance of conflict, problems with how we recover from distress, or how we address conflict and deal with it, which causes strife in relationships. As your marriage and family therapist, I will work with you and your partner to address this relationship reality.
I see every conflict as an opportunity. In our couples counseling sessions we’ll explore whether arguments that trigger strong emotional responses are rooted in needs that have gone unmet or boundaries that have been crossed. As human beings we all want to feel safe, respected, and valued. Many fights couples have arise when one partner feels unsafe, disrespected, or unvalued.
In my work with couples I draw from my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a technique developed by Sue Johnson that emphasizes bonding and attachment, and from Gottman Institute co-founder John Gottman’s award winning work on marital stability. These research-proven strategies reduce the possibility of anyone feeling like the “bad guy” when resolving conflict. We’ll work collaboratively to explore your emotions, develop empathy and understanding, and to reduce negativity in your relationship. The result: a deeper connection and increased intimacy between you and your partner.